what kind of conservative

I stopped for lunch/breakfast at a Panera's Bread joint in DesMoines, Iowa. While I was coffeeing up, I overheard two salesmen yacking to each other at the next table. Being a social scientist, I turned on my monitoring brain and noticed over the course of the conversation that while they were (according to their own self descriptions) they were both Republicans, they expressed opposite views on most topics that came up as they discussed last night's debate between McCain and Obama. Here is a bit of reconstructed con versation between them.

The two are abbreviated here as (a) 'r' and (b) 'R'. The lower case 'r' is the one who was the more traditional republican - less partisan, less strident, more thoughtful, more hesitant to jump to conclusions. The man abbreviated with the upper case 'R' was the one who was more partisan, more aggressive, more impulsive and willing to point fingers.

My question - for readers here - is WHICH one is the real republican?

r: I think after last night I am going to have to vote for Obama?

R: Are you kidding me? McCain killed.

r: Well, he was more aggressive, but he didn't make a lot of sense.

R: That Ayers thing was like a stake through Obama's heart.

r: Well, everyone has associations. You don't know who they are by looking at who they hang with. Would you like people to judge you that way?

R: But Obama is hanging out with terrorists!

r: Do we want to talk about who McCain's friends are? Besides, we should look at what they said.

R: Obama was pushing socialism.

r: What do you mean?

R: You know he is going to "distribute our wealth". That is what he said to Joe Plumber. Should the government take money out of my pocket and give it to the homeless guy down the street?

r: I heard that Joe the Plumber is still undecided. Besides, if you ask a hundred plumbers, you'll get a hundred opinions. Besides, any kind of tax plan is a distribution of wealth, isn't it? You saying we shouldn't have any taxes? No military? No schools?

R: Less government. Not more like the liberals want.

r: Tell me, who has been increasing the power of government more? Dick Cheney or Nancy Pelosi? Those guys in charge right now are giving $700 billion to the banks and taking part ownership. And you're scared of liberals?

R: They had to do that because all this happened because of the Democrats who pushed all the bad mortgages.

r: The Democrats? Are they responsible for the deficit? Did they start the Iraq war? I voted for Bush to cut government and now it is bigger than ever, and I'm supposed to blame Nancy Pelosi?

R: They are going to reverse Bush's tax cuts, for sure.

r: The Democrats may be tax-and-spend, but isn't that better than cutting taxes and still spending? We used to talk about deficit spending like it was the devil and now the devil's got us.

R: Look what happened. We were doing fine until the Democrats got control of congress two years ago, and now we have a financial meltdown.

r: From what I can tell this meltdown has more to do with unregulated speculation, not taxes. There is something like $60 trillion of unsecured debt in fancy derivatives and such on Wall Street and nothing to back it up.

R: If you are conservative, you have to let people both get rich and make mistakes.

r:  Who pays for the mistakes? You and me and Joe the Plumber? That's redistribution of wealth right there. I am a conservative, but the Republicans are not being conservative. Like charging around the world starting wars. Iraq and Afghanistan and now Iran.  It is all a freakin mess and we shouldn't have gone there in the first place.

R: What? We had to get that guy out. He was destabilizing the region.

r: No. NOW it is destabilized. And it's gonna be. Generations of those people will hate us for killing their families.

R: No way. The place is peaceful now. They have elections and everything.

r: Whatever. The last thing that pushed me over to Obama was Palin.

R: She's great. A true conservative and she tells it like it is.

r: She only sees things her way. Her way or the highway. We had enough of that cocksure thinking in Bush and Cheney. Those guys had eight years. We like to talk about accountability and responsibility. So I am going to hold them responsible.

R: So you're gonna vote for a black guy?